Sometimes the pressures of everyday life displace a person's perspective on what is important. Really important. Through years of torturing myself, I came to realize I was miserable and for what? For what someone else thought of my clothes, or how much I weighed, or how much money I made? Over the years, I have wrestled with how I really felt and what I thought I was supposed to feel. I have decided to quit worrying what everyone thought of me and just be true to myself.
I have always tried to live my life the best that I can. Some days have been more successful then others. I have always thought a little differently than most people about religion and where we are going. I have never felt that I was wrong in my beliefs, but others made me feel ashamed and ignorant. I have been told that I was "going to go to hell". If I don't believe in it, how can I go? Why do people believe we all should think alike? This applies to almost every aspect of life.
In the pursuit of going further and achieving more, having a bigger house or fancy car, people are loosing themselves in the process. For example, my sister recently was laid off her job in a factory where she made very good money but worked long hours in a messy plant. She took a job in a flower shop making and delivering flower arrangements. I asked her one day if she liked what she was doing, and her response was, "It was okay.". I could tell by the tone of her voice that there was something bothering her. So I told her if she liked her new job, it was okay. Even if it didn't bring in the money like her old job, she was getting paid for doing something she enjoyed. She wasn't allowing herself to enjoy what she was presently doing to help support her family.
Life is only as hard as we make it. There will always be ups and downs, but its how we deal with them that makes all the difference. If we keep hope and humor in our outlook, it makes the trip so much easier. So take a bubble bath or a long walk alone. Plant a vegetable in a pot on the window sill and watch the miracle of growth, and know that you helped achieve it. Go with what your heart tells you is the right thing. Most importantly, be true to yourself. Because if you won't tell yourself the truth, who will you be able to trust.
