Recently, I have been trying to figure out what to do with myself. Since my Heart Failure in January, I am trying to figure out what I want to do for the rest of my life. At least for the next couple of years. I keep trying to figure out what I can do to support myself financially, that I am good at and have an interest in. For the past couple of years, I have been pondering my various skills and interests to plan for my future when I am no longer able to be a chef. But circumstances have pushed that up by many years now.
I have so many interests and am good at a lot of things. I cook, I create, I write, I garden, I craft. I love paperwork, of all things. I have been rolling around the idea of bookkeeping for years now. I want to try and get classes in as soon as I can afford them or get some financial assistance, maybe a grant or something. Or I'd like to use my culinary skills and sell items through a website. Where I live is fast becoming a wedding destination and hand made food gift items are picking up. I could even ship for people getting married in other areas.
With all of these ideas, I get so excited and even mock up website ideas or menus. But, then I loose my drive. I become insecure and afraid to proceed for fear of failing. I think a lot of that follows me from my childhood. My father, may he rest in peace, was an alcoholic. He never encouraged us to do anything but get a job when we were old enough and get out of the house. I want to let you know though, before he passed away, he quit drinking and was a very encouraging father. But we were all grown up by then. And some scars are still there.
I think I will get a business plan of some sort together and set up a meeting with a local restaurateur whom I worked for for many years. He is a very shrewd businessman and I value his opinion on the economics of our area. But I am intimidated by him also. I do not want him to think I am stupid.
